Personal Stories

Waiting to be Asked (Sherrin and Jill, Jan. 2002)

Jean, Jill’s mom, was in a hospice for a few days around July 4. While there, we asked her if she’d like us to sing to her. "Oh, I want you to sing for the man across the hall. He’s screaming from pain and he’s having such a hard time."

We explained that we were there to sing for her and that our choir’s policy was to sing when asked directly by the people who have asked for singing. Her mother persisted. Then the nurses, hearing us sing to Jean, asked us to sing to him. "He’s delirious. It would help him so much."

After three days, we said okay. We went into his room and Sherrin said, "We are here to sing to you." He was delirious, but his message was very clear. He said, "You are in the wrong place."

We should have said thank you and walked out of the room at that point, but we did not. We sang to him and after a while he quieted way down. Then he suddenly bolted upright and said, "What the hell are you doing here?"

He was in worse shape than when we started.

He had every right to be incensed. We had invaded his privacy. It made us realize at a very deep level how wise it is to wait to be asked to sing by the people for whom we will be singing.